Dear Nancy, the Astroturf is Growing

Nancy,

I know you will find this hard to believe, but a near miracle has happened in the middle of a dreadful winter. Astroturf has sprouted! That new teabagger fertilizer so ridiculed and despised by you and the news media, actually works. Surprisingly it seems the lack of sunlight, instead of killing the Astroturf, actually helped it grow. Oh well I am sure it remains a mystery to you and the boys on the hill why this is happening.

So long Nancy, see you later on this year.

As always,
Independent